Saturday August 11th: Just when you thought the summer had arrived, the Daily Mail rain long and hard on Gordon's parade. The Saturday Essay - written today by Andrew Roberts is a look at Britain after what I initially assumed to be some sort of nuclear armageddon. It was in fact a fictionalised account of the UK in 2020, after Gordon had betrayed us to those bloody foreigners (Copyright: Daily Mail). Just some examples of the terrors we would be subjected to by our EU slavemasters are: The banning of Union Jacks, being made to hand the Falklands back to Argentina (Does this really bother them that much. I always thought it was just a bunch of rocks with penguins living on it. There is absolutely, positively no gold in them thar hills) and perhaps worst of all, French police patrolling our streets. Seriously, it makes you wonder what they're so unhappy about - they're rich. And not just regular rich. They're endangered-species-rug-rich. At times The Mail paints such a bleak vision of the future that it makes me wonder if the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse have been drafted onto the editorial team. If Britain signs the EU Treaty, the moon will turn the colour of blood and a plague, the likes of which have never been seen will be visited on this green and pleasant land.
Their front page headline today simply read "DEATH OF THE MORNING POST". I didn't read the article, but I'm willing to get Cluedo on it and hazard a guess at who they think the culprit is...
The travel industry has suffered enough in recent years, what with bad press for polluting the planet and it seems that Going Places may have got in Gordon's ear, because as of right now climate change protesters at Heathrow are being treated as terrorists, according to The Guardian. Police have been granted the power, under Section 58 of the Terrorism Act which makes illegal to make a record of information that can be used for acts of terror. Student Cristina Fraser, was arrested under said act and held in a cell for 30 hours. The nefarious acts of terror planned by the protesters are said to include living in tents, using solar and wind power and cooking communally. All sounds pretty above board. Wouldn't catch me out there though. No mention of running water and definitely no mention of satellite TV. That's a mug's game.
Back to Section 58 though. Would the aforementioned records of information include a shopping list which features items which, by themselves are harmless, but combined could make a devastating explosive? It's vital I know, as the very last thing I'd want is to get jumped by Special Branch on my way out of Sainsbury's. "IT'S PASTA SAUCE AND A BOTTLE OF CIF!! GET YOUR STINKING HANDS OFF ME!" The Met are whooping ass and taking names. And not the made up ones like Willow and Badger. No sir, they'll keep that on file, because they never know when they might need to boot you out of your bed and drag you down the station to be questioned under burning hot 100 watt desk-lamps. They won't be the energy-saving kind either.
Unless they are planning to lie down on the tarmac is there anyway the peaceniks can stop Iberian Airlines Flight 85 on it's way to Benidorm? Standing in front of a jet engine will only lead to getting ground into mince when it sucks you into the blades and spits you out the other end. Surely, the only way to cause widespread disruption is to go to the check-in desks and act like one of the loons from Airport when they realise that their bag has gone missing. If each protester does that - that's 1500 bags missing. That will bring Heathrow to a halt in just under a couple of hours. The job's a good'un. Exctinction Level Event averted.
AAAAARGH! My computer is slowing down....Damn - the taskbar just disappeared. Someone out there doesn't want you lot knowing the truth. Is that you, Gordon? I thought we were bredrin - why would you do mans like that?? I promise you double Prince tomorrow. It was all about the one handed guitar solos last night, apparently...
