Saturday September 8th: Oh, hey....What are you doing up? I told you I'd be back late....
....Where was I last night? I was out with the boys.....
.....I know, I know. I should have left a note...
We just had a few beers....
Nah - we didn't go to a club......
She said she saw us there?
With who?
And you believe her?
Nah - we're just friends.
I don't smell of Chanel, do I?......
What lipstick?
Erm....
Unfortunately, I was unable to deliver my trademarked brand of pithy and wry social commentary, as I was disconnected from free wireless yesterday. Miss me?
Anything good happen?
The front page of The Guardian reports that it's all hands to the pump at Conservative HQ, as the Tories hurriedly prepare a manifesto in case of an autumn election. This kind of fervour is normally the preserve of survivalist militia, battening down the hatches in the foothills of Montana, bracing themelves for the everlooming Day Of Reckoning. The Condservatives, it seems are taking heart in the 1% opinion poll deficit (What a fickle mistress you are, O Electorate of Albion!) and may no longer feel that Diet Blair is the millstone around Middle England's neck that he has, at times, appeared to have been.
Indeed, it appears the PR Weasel will be in full effect this week. He will be answering questions and reading comments put to him by readers of the Daily Telegraph:
"In the past, it might have been safe to assume that the occasion of a Conservative leader coming face to face with the readers of this newspaper would have been a bit of a love-in - hardly the stuff of a Paxman-style grilling." Dave writes.
"But something tells me I'm not going to get a particularly easy ride."
Guilt tripping, Dave? You're not playing fair...
Well, I've read the Telegraph for the past 40 days so I qualify as "a reader", right?
"Mr. Cameron, I would like to applaud your recent actions after you courageously challenged Gordon Brown to "a bare knuckle fight" over the state of the NHS. Bravo! You are however forgetting two things, which could prove vital in such a situation. Firstly, that you are giving up a few pounds and a couple of inches in reach to him. That gives him an automatic advantage. Try 'The Rope-A-Dope'. Secondly, you have forgotten that other cardinal rule: never challenge a Glaswegian to a brawl. Good luck, though! Just so you know - I've got a monkey on 'The Brown Bomber'.
All the best!"
Posted by Kobi Annobil on September 8 2007 at 12:04am
And now we play the waiting game...
Gordon, stepped up the psychological pressure on the Tories by announcing that Lord Sainsbury had donated £2million to The Labour Party, which has been laid out on his bedroom floor so he can lie in it when he gets home and make 'money angels'.
Ballin'.
And, also in the news...Jonas Eliasch, one of the Conservatives' backers defected yesterday, citing "the party's shift to the right and abandonment of its green agenda" as his reasons, and took all his money with him. No more foie gras, chaps. It's Tesco economy pate on crackers until after the election.
Prince is finishing strong - He played The Morning Papers during his piano set, which even the good folks at 3121.com don't remember hearing live before.
Towards the end of the show, he screamed:
“London, this is MY house! I don’t care who’s been in here before me, or who will come after me, this is MY house now!”
Which is probably exactly what the voice in Gordon's head tells him when he walks into The House Of Commons.
And finally, despite my total indifference to the English national football team - well done to Shaun Wright-Phillips and Micah Richardson. Nice to see young black men making the headlines for something positive....
