Monday August 13th: Both our boys are doing well in the papers today. The whole world is giving Gordon his three cheers and drunken rendition of 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow'. The Daily Mirror is leading the well wishers, enthusing over Gordon's 10 point lead in the opinion polls...
I'm sorry - I was distracted by a picture of Paris Hilton's handbag cur, wearing a polo shirt. Why is dog clothing even in existence? Is this what we, as a species, leave as our legacy when the last human being turns out the lights and goes quietly into that good night? When the bomb drops and all is turned to rubble and ash and this planet is visited by beings, hailing from galaxies millions of light years hence, will they judge us by the 'It's a Dog's Life' chihuauha hoodie, snagged on a steel pole, blowing gently in the breeze?
I was in San Diego last year when I noticed a shop with very small T-shirts hanging in the window. One of them was inscribed with the phrase '#1 Bitch'. My first thought was "Wow. Someone's really going to scar their kid for life by making them wear that garment." It wasn't until I saw two dogs in jumpers about 10 minutes later that the penny finally dropped. Seriously though. Why? Do dogs worry about being naked? No. They are too busy chasing tennis balls, going for walks and shitting in their neglectful owners' shoes. Dog clothing has to be one of those ideas that came about as the result of a drunken bet and someone's inability to just accept that they had backed a few too many and they were talking nonsense. Well, here we are, however many years down the line, and they've made a fortune out of people who tape Animals Do The Funniest Things to watch over and over. And over...
Anyway - there's a picture of Gordon grinning, above Rosa Prince's Top 10 reasons why Brown's better than Cameron. My favourite is Number 6: "Brown is a grown up". Others included "Brown is a footie fan" and "Cameron is all PR and no trousers". Diet Blair is going through it right now. Even The Independent, the Switzerland of newspapers, is getting at him. The cartoon on the Editorial & Opinion page shows Dave getting beamed aboard a flying saucer, being instructed to come home. as this is happening he seems to be losing his clothes. All of which have the name-tag T. Blair in them. Right down to his drawers.
The Conservatives must be kicking themselves for being so hasty to let 3 leaders go before it was Diet Blair's turn at the wicket. The walking charisma voids that are William Hague and Iain Duncan Smith will be sitting in their country residences right now chuckling to themselves.
Prince played a blinder today. According to The Daily Star ("Prince's Pash For Nash"), he heard Kate Nash's single on the radio and told his entourage that he wants them to track Nash down and bring her to see him. You've gotta love that. If one of my friends said that they had a thing for a girl on the radio and wanted her brought to him, I would think "Hahahaha - Yeah, whatever..." if he persisted with his demands, the "stalker" alarm would start ringing. I mean, I'd like Rosario Dawson to be tracked down and brought to me, with a beer in each hand (OK, the beers can wait. For now...) I'd also like Ferrari Enzos in every colour of the rainbow. Does that mean that I'll get them? This is exactly the brand of lunacy the British press loves. The tabloids get their 'Pop Loon' headline and the broadsheets get to wax philosophical about the what it is to be an artiste. If he keeps on giving them stories like that the newspapers may just club in to pay his wages for a few more gigs.
PS - For all your dog clothing needs - visit PetSmart at 8657 Villa La Jolla Drive,La Jolla,CA
No comments:
Post a Comment